heartbreak lite: i still miss bp

Like i told him once, he has been both an anchor and a catalyst (in incredibly significant ways). he has also been something of a good friend, and a lover, at this point, beyond compare.

i miss him. i still miss that fucker and know that as far as the crux of the situation is concerned, he couldn't have done anything different, just like I couldn't have. It just was too much reality.

i still miss him. and, fortunately (or unfortunately) because of those three weeks of three hour a day subway rides (where i cried and cried and cried and cried . . .), am no longer angry. I just flat out miss him.

i'm also highly aware that we were just BAD together. As an idea, maybe, and as a reality, it was painful for all involved. I suppose because it was all long distance we could pretend. And when we were alone for awhile (though, inevitably, alone for too long), we got as close as either one of us possibly could.

either way, he made a tremendous impact on me. Most, through time, for the good.

so it goes.