Sunday, June 10, 2007

why being an introvert sucks

I feel like ranting and raving about this current job of mine . . .
omigod. But I won't.  The past four months have WORN ME OUT
and I've gotten
dangerously close to the burn-out point (even
though in soooo may ways
this place is just the best ever . . . I
can't believe I actually landed
there,especially for my 1st "real"
job in nyc). There is always a very
miraculous "break" when I've
just about had it, most recently, I've
been able to secure my own
office space in a next door building, by
throwing a mild yet "i
mean it" fit at my boss, (as opposed to being in a room
with the
loudest person i've ever met and anywhere from 1 to 3 other
people
. . . all very high maintenance or conversely, high energy,
interns).
wait. i said i wouldn't rant or rave. I just did both.
the new office space
is always there (at least thru the summer --
and there is the constant
promise that at some point in the fall, an
office space in my building will be
available as some tenants' lease
will have run out), but the culture of the office that i work in requires
that
i am in the original office most of the time (its very "family"
oriented
and prone to impromptu discussions in which very
important info is thrown about). The way it's arranged now, I will
(I think) have a couple of
hours in the morning of quiet (which is
huge) or as needed. In the afternoon, I will go back to the loud room
and do whatever is thrown at me.


anyway.

the point being, or why being an introvert sucks, that i am so worried
about "basic needs" (a
quiet place to actually think and produce) that
i'm not at all able to segue
this incredible resource of place that i am
currently working in to fit my
own needs/becoming-more-clear-but-
still-blurry career goals. Much less actually do what my I'm supposed
to be doing for them.


It's not that an introvert is high maintenance, necessarily . . . it's just
that our needs are so different from others'. And I'm finding
that people
take it personally, or have a hard time dealing with the fact that what
they want is not what everybody wants. or something like that.


I dunno.


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